borntorebel | [IC] Appointments

[There had been reasons, of course. It was an important symbol, it gave them legitimacy. But that wasn't the topic for the evening.]

I'm not surprised.

[He knows her preferences, after all.]

There's room to walk around. We were on a goodwill tour, at home. And I'm pretty sure at least half of it was just an excuse to get off Coruscant for a while.

[It's a large and varied galaxy. Coruscant isn't a small planet but it feels like it's closing in on itself. And she's never liked restrictions.

But Han seems to understand her in ways that she hasn't really considered. How many times has she told him she hates Coruscant?

She still doesn't know him like that. And it's disturbing in a way.]

That's not a half-bad idea. The children would learn about the different worlds firsthand.

[He's been trying not to bring up the kids too often. It's still such a delicate point. But if she's going to...

Well, she's right. It wouldn't be good to keep them cooped up on Coruscant all the time when there was a whole galaxy out there. He didn't want that for them any more than she did.]

The kids are loving it. Seeing all these worlds out on the Outer Rim.

Keeping them out of the water on Mon Calamari got... interesting.

[She can't keep acting like these children don't exist. Han is obviously very much in love with his family. And she is grateful for it. It's the kind of life she doubted she'd be able to have after Endor.

Just...what changed her mind?]

I don't doubt it. Half-Skywalker, half-Solo, they must be brilliant little terrors. Force knows I was more than a handful growing up. My dowager aunts drove themselves insane attempting to make me into a proper princess.

They even declared me so impossible that I would never be married.

[He leans down to kiss her lightly. As far as he's concerned, she ought to be kissed regularly.]

Somehow, I don't think your aunts saw me coming.

[Just a hunch.]

Though I'm sure they wouldn't be surprised that all three are... yeah, brilliant little terrors about covers it.

[Said with the utmost affection as only a parent who adores his children but is well aware of how much trouble it would be if they mutinied can.]

[Leia can't help the slightly pleased smile on her face after he kisses her. Han is very good at it. Besides, being with him like this reminds her of those first few months together.

But it also brings to her mind Bakura. And something she's kept from him. She's still unhhappy about what happened, but she's not the blindingly angry that she thought she would be after it all fell out. Her voice is steady when she begins.]

I tried to talk to Anakin a few days ago. It went as well as you can imagine.

[Han squeezes her hand. He's not exactly the poster child for pleasant interactions with Anakin Skywalker. Son named after the man or not, he couldn't just forget what Vader had done to Leia.]

That bad, huh?

[He shakes his head. A recurring theme was emerging.]

The kriffed up time here makes everything so complicated.

Hm, I think things would be complicated anyway. None of us have had simple lives, even before we got here.

A part of me wishes I was more like Luke when it comes to Anakin. Our mother is infinitely easier. But my heart still tells me every day that my father was Bail Organa. It's...

[She laughs sadly.]

I find myself, even six years later, wanting his approval for things. Would he agree with the way the provisional council is handling new planets joining? Am I doing the right thing in supporting the re-establishment of the Rogue Squadron? Would he like you?

But...I never ask myself anything about Anakin's hopes, desires, dreams. I think I'm afraid to do it.

And yet, I want to know him better at the same time.

It's all extremely mixed up.

[He's pretty sure dead Sith Lords staying dead would make things easier]

Bail Organa was your dad. He tucked you in at night, hugged you when you were scared. He's the one who taught you about politics, about right and wrong.

[It's a dynamic he appreciates all the more, now that they have children of their own. That connection to these little people.]

Of course he's the one you wonder about. But Anakin Skywalker, he's a stranger.

[Or worse.]

You're right. It's a very simplistic view of things, but it's true.

[It doesn't keep her from feeling guilty though.]

I've seen him with my mother. He's like a different person. I... That is the Anakin I'd like to know. That is who approached me shortly after I arrived.

And I turned him away, Han.

[Han hasn't exactly been the poster child for welcoming the man with open arms himself. Not with everything Vader did to Leia.]

It was never going to be simple.

[He's no Jedi. He doesn't have that patience. That perspective.]

I don't know. There's so much baggage. A few years isn't really that much time to work through it.

I can't feel it the same way that Luke does, but I can tell how all this affects him. And I'm worried about him. You saw how he was when we all talked in Pagoda. His sadness clings to him.

And I think I've only added to it.

[She looks up at Han and silently studies him. Leia finds comfort that Han stays the same good man she fell in love with. It's so easy to be with him. He doesn't expect anything unreasonable from her, doesn't push unless he has to, and isn't afraid to go against her.

Being with anyone but Han Solo feels beyond wrong to her. And if she felt that way without marriage and children, how must he feel?]

I'm sorry. Tonight was supposed to be about us and I've now talked about everyone else.

They're your family.

[No, that doesn't do the depths to which their lives are entwined justice. He can't imagine life without her. His wife. The mother of his children. His partner. Who knew him so well, for reasons that had nothing to do with the Force.]

Our family.

[Their strange, mixed up family. That they were going to have to make work, somehow.]

At least we aren't adding to the strain any more.

True, but our family will still be there in the morning. It's rare that you and I are alone.

[She likes the way it sounds when he accepts her extremely flawed family as his own. He's an orphan, and she's known that since after Yavin. Some of the Alliance leaders had done a little digging when he showed up with her and Luke.

It was something they'd had in common. But him taking on the burden of being part of the Skywalker family just makes her love him more.

But it's true that being alone in yhe house is difficult.]

Han...what if we moved out?

I wouldn't say no to a bit more privacy.

[There was such a thing as too much family. And when the only way to ever get time alone together is by closing the bedroom door and making the rest of the family wonder.]

It's a lot of people in one place.

I'm sorry if Mother is still giving you disapproving looks. She was displeased to find out why I was so angry with you.

[And now that they've made up, Leia wants the whole family to be on better terms. It's a silly hope, she knows, reminiscent of Anakin's initial thoughts when she'd arrived, but...it will take a while.]

You're welcome to move back in, you know. I've missed using you as my personal pillow.

[Han Solo is the best pillow. End of story.]

Understandable, really.

[He tends to get mad at people who try to kidnap his kids after all. Which is.. a disturbingly common occurrence.]

Would you believe I actually sleep better when you're doing that?

[Han Solo: Smuggler and snuggler]

After being together for so long, no, I don't have trouble believing it. I sleep better when I'm with you. Why would it be any different for you?

[All around them are signs of life in the enclosure, but Leia is enjoying their peaceful walk. She's almost sad to see the restaurant ahead, but she's also hungry as well.]

I suppose you can even join me tonight. If that's not too much trouble for you. But only after you've fed me.

I think the couch cushions will forgive me for abandoning them.

[He opens the door for her]

But first, we eat.

[IC] Appointments

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