borntorebel | [IC] Appointments

Hm, I think things would be complicated anyway. None of us have had simple lives, even before we got here.

A part of me wishes I was more like Luke when it comes to Anakin. Our mother is infinitely easier. But my heart still tells me every day that my father was Bail Organa. It's...

[She laughs sadly.]

I find myself, even six years later, wanting his approval for things. Would he agree with the way the provisional council is handling new planets joining? Am I doing the right thing in supporting the re-establishment of the Rogue Squadron? Would he like you?

But...I never ask myself anything about Anakin's hopes, desires, dreams. I think I'm afraid to do it.

And yet, I want to know him better at the same time.

It's all extremely mixed up.

[He's pretty sure dead Sith Lords staying dead would make things easier]

Bail Organa was your dad. He tucked you in at night, hugged you when you were scared. He's the one who taught you about politics, about right and wrong.

[It's a dynamic he appreciates all the more, now that they have children of their own. That connection to these little people.]

Of course he's the one you wonder about. But Anakin Skywalker, he's a stranger.

[Or worse.]

You're right. It's a very simplistic view of things, but it's true.

[It doesn't keep her from feeling guilty though.]

I've seen him with my mother. He's like a different person. I... That is the Anakin I'd like to know. That is who approached me shortly after I arrived.

And I turned him away, Han.

[Han hasn't exactly been the poster child for welcoming the man with open arms himself. Not with everything Vader did to Leia.]

It was never going to be simple.

[He's no Jedi. He doesn't have that patience. That perspective.]

I don't know. There's so much baggage. A few years isn't really that much time to work through it.

I can't feel it the same way that Luke does, but I can tell how all this affects him. And I'm worried about him. You saw how he was when we all talked in Pagoda. His sadness clings to him.

And I think I've only added to it.

[She looks up at Han and silently studies him. Leia finds comfort that Han stays the same good man she fell in love with. It's so easy to be with him. He doesn't expect anything unreasonable from her, doesn't push unless he has to, and isn't afraid to go against her.

Being with anyone but Han Solo feels beyond wrong to her. And if she felt that way without marriage and children, how must he feel?]

I'm sorry. Tonight was supposed to be about us and I've now talked about everyone else.

They're your family.

[No, that doesn't do the depths to which their lives are entwined justice. He can't imagine life without her. His wife. The mother of his children. His partner. Who knew him so well, for reasons that had nothing to do with the Force.]

Our family.

[Their strange, mixed up family. That they were going to have to make work, somehow.]

At least we aren't adding to the strain any more.

True, but our family will still be there in the morning. It's rare that you and I are alone.

[She likes the way it sounds when he accepts her extremely flawed family as his own. He's an orphan, and she's known that since after Yavin. Some of the Alliance leaders had done a little digging when he showed up with her and Luke.

It was something they'd had in common. But him taking on the burden of being part of the Skywalker family just makes her love him more.

But it's true that being alone in yhe house is difficult.]

Han...what if we moved out?

I wouldn't say no to a bit more privacy.

[There was such a thing as too much family. And when the only way to ever get time alone together is by closing the bedroom door and making the rest of the family wonder.]

It's a lot of people in one place.

I'm sorry if Mother is still giving you disapproving looks. She was displeased to find out why I was so angry with you.

[And now that they've made up, Leia wants the whole family to be on better terms. It's a silly hope, she knows, reminiscent of Anakin's initial thoughts when she'd arrived, but...it will take a while.]

You're welcome to move back in, you know. I've missed using you as my personal pillow.

[Han Solo is the best pillow. End of story.]

Understandable, really.

[He tends to get mad at people who try to kidnap his kids after all. Which is.. a disturbingly common occurrence.]

Would you believe I actually sleep better when you're doing that?

[Han Solo: Smuggler and snuggler]

After being together for so long, no, I don't have trouble believing it. I sleep better when I'm with you. Why would it be any different for you?

[All around them are signs of life in the enclosure, but Leia is enjoying their peaceful walk. She's almost sad to see the restaurant ahead, but she's also hungry as well.]

I suppose you can even join me tonight. If that's not too much trouble for you. But only after you've fed me.

I think the couch cushions will forgive me for abandoning them.

[He opens the door for her]

But first, we eat.

[IC] Appointments

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